This post talks about some common misunderstandings about separation and then about how to do it.
The Legal Separation
There's no such thing as a "legal separation" in British Columbia. You don't need a document to say you're separated; you don't need to see a lawyer and you don't need to see a judge to separate.
In fairness, there used to be something called a judicial separation or a divorce a mensa et thoro (a divorce from bed and board). Judicial separations were once required to relieve a married couple of their common law duty to live together and support each other, but this sort of half-divorce hasn't been available for many, many years.
Sometimes people mean a separation agreement when they talk about a "legal separation." A separation agreement is a contract which records a couple's settlement of the legal issues resulting from the end of their relationship. Although you don't need a separation agreement in order to separate, separation agreements are an excellent way to avoid court.
How to Separate
A couple is separated once either or both people decides that the relationship is over, announces that decision and terminates the marriage-like aspects of the relationship, such as sleeping together, eating together, doing household chores for the benefit of the whole family and so forth.
The decision to separation only needs to be made by one person; the consent or permission of the other person is not required. The reason why a decision is required at all is to distinguish couples who live separate and apart for reasons like employment from couples who live separate and apart because they've split up.
Staying Under the Same Roof
Most couples move out and find new places to live after they separate. Some couples continue living together after they've separated, usually because living together is so much cheaper than living apart. The court will consider couples who have split up but continue to live under the same roof to be separated looking at things like:
- whether the couple have stopped sharing the same bed or bedroom;
- whether the couple have stopped having sex together;
- the extent to which each person does their own chores;
- whether the couple have opened separate bank accounts and begun to separate their finances; and,
- whether the couple have stopped going to social functions as a couple.
Separation and the Legal End of a Relationship
For all unmarried couples, including common-law spouses, separation is all that's required to legally end a relationship.
Married spouses, on the other hand, must get a divorce to legally end their relationship... no matter how long they've been separated. There is no such thing as an "automatic divorce." A married couple will be married until they divorce, whether they've been separated for one year or thirty.
This difference is important for unmarried couples because certain limitation dates begin to run from the date of separation, the most important of which involve the right to apply for spousal support and, although this isn't quite accurate, the right to apply for child support for children brought into the relationship.
A future post will discuss a perennially popular topic, sex and new relationships after separation. Separation is a surprisingly broad subject. If there's a topic you'd like me to discuss please say so in a comment to this post.