Spam and Blog Comments

Readers are welcome to submit their comments. They will be reviewed and considered for publication.  If any are deemed to be inappropriate (including spam or comments with offensive or vulgar language), they will not be posted. No legal advice will be provided in response to any comments or questions.


We enjoyed John-Paul Boyd’s original post about "Spam, Spam, Wonderful Spam," and have kept it here for your amusement:

I get a fair amount of spam posted in the guise of comments to this blog. This isn't the spam you get in your email where someone in Nigeria is telling you about their deceased relative, the Minister of Finance, it's an assortment of insubstantial comments submitted primarily for the purpose of getting a link to a website posted. Since so many of these comments are hilarious in their subliteracy, I thought I would start posting them... just without the link. I don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. 

This page was last updated on 15 July 2015; scroll to the bottom to read the latest bell-ringers.

In reply to my post "Family Law Act Introduced," Professional Legal Network says:
This is nice and the best post. Every body can get information in this blog. This is really helpful article. I really like this post. Thanks for sharing.
In reply to my post "Tax Court Rules on Deductibility of Legal Fees," Maria Shannon, an immigration lawyer from Chicago, purports to say:
 These articles and blogs are genuinely sufficiency for me for a day.
They are genuinely sufficiency for me too. And also for no more than a day. On my post about s. 15 reports, Tampa child support lawyers say:
Good day! I could have sworn I've been to this site before but after checking through some of the post I realized it's new to me. Anyhow, I'm definitely glad I found it and I'll be book-marking and checking back frequently.
Well, hot dog! With that sort of compliment I'm sure to post your link. Not. Next, Sir Ackent, who shills for Mesothelioma Lawyer News, says the following in reference to my post "Slight Increase in Funding for Legal Aid:"
I would certainly commit 10 on 10 for such incredible cognition.
Sir Ackent, whose use of English is so charmingly unique, has however become unwelcome with his barrage of spam these last few days. (I suspect he did a search to see if his username appeared on my website, and, overlooking the context, became emboldened.) Here are a few other malapropisms submitted as comments by Sir Ackent:
The thing that you offer is worth our case and force. 
Your blogs are totally worth gift quantify and liveliness.  
Engrossing substance I haven't been finished specified info in a lasting time.
Sir Ackent has moved on from the mesothelioma thing and now works for Chicago immigration lawyer Shawn Hu.

Elida Thomas, who panders for a credit counselling service, comments on "Supreme Court Releases Decision on Family Debt," saying:
The quality of your blogs and articles and worth appreciating.
Awesome. In connection with my excellent post "All About Separation," someone with an interest in Luton Airport Jobs writes:
Fine wаy of explaining, and pleasant piece of writing to get facts regaгding my presentаtiоn subjесt mattеr, which i am going to present in college. 
Whether the person intendeds to plagiarize my work or not, I feel comforted by the fact that his or her awkward sentence structure will guarantee a low grade.

Speaking of low grades, or in this case law grads, James Dean on behalf of an Australian firm, Rockliffs Solicitors & IP Lawyers, writes:
This is certainly one of the most valuable posts. Great tips from beginning till end. Lots of suggestions for me and for people. Superb work.
Very flattering. Except that the post James commented on was "Slight Increase in Funding for Legal Aid," which contains neither tips nor suggestions. Shame on you for employing these tactics, Rockliffs.

Next, a group called Vancouver Divorce Lawyers, which uses the bizarre and oxymoronic tag line "intelligent and agressive representation," and has the chutzpah to describe the lawyers they don't identify as the "best" divorce lawyers in Vancouver, has attempted to spam my post "How to Hire a Family Law Lawyer" with this unintelligible comment:
This may be a good idea, that another day in the life of a trial lawyer is very sensitive. However, announcing your divorce, or anything related to it, in public can be a big, big mistake. Proof of this was the deletion of the tweet shortly thereafter. Click Here for a FREE Divorce Law Advice in Vancouver. 
Shame on you, whoever you are, shame. Vancouver Divorce Lawyers has created a fake user, the improbably-named Laurice, who, oblivious to context, has commented on this page saying:
The lawyer who is hired will help the client with the necessary knowledge he has to run the case. The family law attorney will help you to run the case and win the case. The more important thing is that the lawyer will have the patience to listen to the story and understand the feelings and get the case decided according to your requirement. Click Here to Read More Divorce Blog Articles.
Laurice also comments on the guest post "Six Tips for Single Parents with Back to School Age Children:"
These cases are nasty and may trouble the client. The lawyer should be able to bring out the client successfully without any mental torture. The division of the property and the family assets has to be done properly once the divorce proceedings are over. Click Here For a FREE Divorce Law Advice in Vancouver.
Of course the article wasn't about cases, mental torture or the division of property. I guess this is what they mean by "intelligent and agressive representation."

A fake user with the name of Andrew Fields who pimps for National Family Solutions has been particularly prolific in spamming my blog. In reply to this page, Andrew writes:
I found the perfect place for my needs. Contains wonderful and useful messages.
In reply to my post "Unmarried Couples, the Division of Property and the Family Law Act," Andrew says:
I really loved reading your blog. It was very well authored and easy to understand. I also found your posts very interesting. In fact after reading, I had to go show it to my friend and he enjoyed it as well!
Wow, he showed it to a friend! I wonder if Andrew also showed his friend the perfect place for his needs? Creepy. In reply to my post on the Law Society's new education and training requirements for family law dispute resolution professionals, Andrew says:
Thanks for your marvelous posting! I actually enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author. I will ensure that I bookmark your blog and will come back in the foreseeable future. I want to encourage that you continue your great job, have a nice weekend! think you've made some truly interesting points.
No, Andrew, thank you. An Australian firm, Aston Legal, has spammed the same post with this banal observation:
Here I have found all the information for which I was looking for family law. You have done amazing work for family law task force. Its too good. 
I didn't really do any work for the task force, but yes, it is too good. Too good by half.

A fake user with the improbable pseudonym of Jackie Champion is pimping for Reade & Reade; see above. Replying to my post "Family Law Act: Changes to Rules of Court," Jackie writes:
Hi! Thank you for sharing your thoughts about Family Law Attorney in your area. I am glad to stop by your site and know more about Family Law Attorney. Keep it up! This is a good read. You have such an interesting and informative page. I will be looking forward to visit your page again and for your other posts as well. New laws and guidelines have been proposed or enacted aided in part, or in reaction to, publicity raised by what most call Father's Rights Groups, especially since the advent of DNA testing. Modifications and enforcement: After divorce, child custody and child support orders often require modification due to changes in income or other circumstances. 
Of course the post wasn't about "Family Law Attorney in your area." I am becoming vexed by Reade & Reade's marketing strategy. Please join me in a salute to spam by forwarding your junk email to info@rrlawfirm.net.

Dorispinto1001 takes the prize for the hands down best spam of 2012. Doris' comment is downright weird, but she caught me with the very first sentence. Replying to my post "Salvation Army Pro Bono Program Shuts Down," Doris writes:
I am Doris,from what I can read. It has been sad news and scam to everyone about Voodoo casters or so. But to me they are so real cause one worked for me not quite two weeks.i met this man on a blog his name is [name omitted] is a very powerful man.I traveled down to where his shrine his and we both did the ritual and sacrifice.he had no website site, and now me and my ex are living very ok now.I don't know about you but Voodoo is real;love marriage,finance, job promotion ,lottery Voodoo,poker voodoo,golf Voodoo,Law & Court case Spells,money voodoo,weigh loss voodoo,diabetic voodoo,hypertensive voodoo,high cholesterol voodoo,Trouble in marriage,Barrenness(need a child),Luck, Money Spells,it's all he does. I used my money to purchase everything he used he never collected a dime from. He told me I can repay him anytime with anything from my heart. Now I don't know how to do that. If you can help or you need his help write him on [email address omittedi believe that your story will change,or if you have any question you can contact me here as [email address omitted] Thank you.
"I am Doris, from what I can read." Fantastic.

Next, we have Muhammad Amir who shills for a documents authentication company. On my most "Attorney General Appoints Nine New Provincial Court Judges," Muhammad writes:
He may be an idiot, but whenever the powers that be in the courthouse need something, the Tookmeister is there with bells on.
(I think I've seen the Tookmeister at the New Westminster registry which, now that I think about it, explains a few things.) Muhammad has made a pest of himself lately, by unleashing irregular comment floods which Google can't seem to automatically tag as spam.

The law firm Cobleys Solicitors & Advocates in Liverpool, England, has attempted to advertise itself with a bogus comment to a rather boring post on new training opportunities for lawyers. Johnson, on Cobleys' behalf, writes:
This blog is very nice and informative!
I'm very impressive with your blog.
Keep update....
Thanks for sharing. family law lawyers
What I'm very impressive with is Cobleys' website.

Lawyers are lawyers; although many of us combine lawyering with a keen business acumen, almost none of us have a background in advertising or design. As a result, lawyers' promotional materials often feature people standing in front of stacks of musty books and our logos tend to involve Roman columns, gavels and scales of justice. If you take a peek at your local Yellow Pages (the company usually designs their customers' ads) you will see a macabre collection of photographs of snarling dogs, ambulances and smashed cars, and, for family law lawyers, couples walking hand in hand toward sunsets, wedding rings on kitchen tables, mums looking aghast at bills and dads playing with children between the ages of four and eight. Here's Cobleys' stab at the genre:


Here, we have dad berating mum in the background — note the body language! — and in the foreground two children who look only vaguely forlorn. I especially like the affected manner with which the girl on the right was posed.

Campbell Burton McMullan, a well-established firm in Langley, British Columbia, has sadly descended to spamming under the username Matrimonial Attorney with this comment on a 2010 post titled "The Ins and Outs of Separation:"
I like informative post and this is really a great write-up and I truly enjoyed reading it. You’ve got an original style that makes your concepts stand out from other writers. Keep up the good piece of work and holds circles of excellent info. thanks for the share :) 
I expect that whoever's doing their social media work just did a search for "separation bc" and didn't both to check whether for currency... that's a four year old post they attempted to comment on! Shame on you, Campbell Burton McMullan, but props for the smiley face. However, you do need to tell your spammers that in Canada we're not attorneys but lawyers.

One attempted spam is a somewhat annoying; two attempted spams suggests that you might be on the pathway to pestilence. Only two hours later, a fake user named Here commented for Campbell Burton McMullan on my post "New Resource for Justice System Workers and Advocates" saying:
Hello Mr John Paul Boyd, I found your post very informative and useful! Thank you for the brilliant share!
Awesome. The extra time taken to observe, but not correctly punctuate, my name warms my heart. Please stop spamming my blog.

If you thought that was weird, someone with the username NorthQueensland but who introduces himself as Cosmo Miller comments on my post "Provincial Court Releases First Decision on Relocation" offering me "recurring commissions on sales your referrals made through an affiliate link on your website."
My Name is Cosmo Miller and I am the Affiliate Manager at [publishing company] affiliate program currently hosted by [sketchy website]
[Publishing company] has become one of the best sources for practice-oriented law books in the legal service industry. Over the decades we have encouraged our authors to load their books with time-saving motions and pleadings, client letters, and step-by-step procedural checklists. We have also sought heavy doses of pattern arguments, model questions, pitfalls to avoid, and practice tips. You can find out more about our catalog by visiting us at: [website]
Your website bcfamilylawresource.blogspot.com caters to traffic that is complementary to us, yet not in direct competition.

I wanted to take a moment to reach out regarding an opportunity for us to partner up, whereby you’d be earning recurring commissions on sales your referrals made through an affiliate link on your website.

The commission earnings start from 25 percent and go up depending on your performance. 
If you join our affiliate program, and put up any two of our promotional materials in your website in the first week as our affiliate, I will increase your default commission level from 25 percent to 27 percent.
If you’re not ready to join the affiliate program right away, I would still love to hear back from you: to see how/if we can still work together.

Best Regards,
Cosmo Miller/Affiliate Manager
Yeah, you know, I just don't think this is going to work out. I've never heard of the publishing company mentioned, despite it being in business for "decades" and becoming "one of the best sources for practice-oriented law books." And what does "we have also sought heavy doses of pattern arguments, model questions, pitfalls to avoid, and practice tips" mean anyway?

I was pleased to find this morning a comment on my post "New Child Support Tables for 2012" from an anonymous user, which might be an early candidate for my favourite spam of 2013.
Just want to say your article is as astonishing. The clearness in your post is just cool and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Well with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying work.
Very few people compliment me on my cool clearness or describe my work as "gratifying," which strikes me as having a vaguely onanistic quality to it. Interestingly, the link being pitched was to a disturbing video on the subject of getting your ex back, narrated by a computer voice synthesizer program. Ick.

It appears that this spammer has decided take an identity although with a Google Plus account under the pseudonym AR Mizra, and now shills on behalf of middle east cargo company. In reply to my post "Provincial Court Releases First Decision on Relocation" the still anonymous user writes:
Just want to say your article is as amazing. The clearness in your post is Just nice and i could assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep up the gratifying work.
Although it's nice that he still wants to "grab my feed," I am disheartened that the level of clearness in my post has dropped from astonishing and cool to just amazing and nice. Or maybe he's just getting creative and going off script.

Over the last few days, this enterprising huckster has returned to his getting-your-ex-back client with this curious entry:
I used to be suggеsted this blog by my cousin.
I am now not sure whethег thіs poѕt іs written by
wау οf him as no οne else
reсognise such distіnct аpрroximately my diffіculty.
You're wonderful! Thanks!
and this:
certainly lіke yοur webѕite but уou havе to test the spеlling
on sevегal of your рosts. Several of them are rіfe with spelling
issues and I to find it veгy bothersome to tell the
tгuth however I will ceгtainly cοme again again.
Although he has sadly veered toward the passive-aggressive, his choice of line breaks suggests a strong interest in poetry, and I worry that I may have misjudged him. Putting the embedded links aside, perhaps this is not spam at all? Could this be an ironic post-modern commentary on the egocentric, semi-commercial quality inherent in contemporary public discourse mediated by the internet? A cri de coeur for a more genuine, authentic mode of communication? However, as Jean Paul Sartre put it in Being and Nothingness, who cares. Stop trying to spam my blog, dude.

A user with a bogus Google+ account in the name of Mark Simon has been spamming my blog on behalf of Barclay DeVere, a London-based mediation franchise. Sadly, Mark's spelling reflects rather poorly on his employer.
I like this weblog its a master peace ! Glad I observed this on google . 
If you are looking for Mediation Services then visit our website, [link] we are the No.1 ledaing comapny  
in UK for providing any type of Mediator Service
Would you hire a mediator who couldn't spell "masterpiece" or "leading company"? Ironically, the Barclay DeVere website says that they are "experts" who, among other things, specialize in commercial mediation.

An anonymous user who couldn't even take the time to create a bogus web ID, has attempted to post a comment advertising a number of link farms. What I enjoy about this user's comment is its deliciously subtle passive-aggressive jab. To my post "Amendments Amended: Rules of court adjusted for guardianship applications," the user writes:
May I just say what a relief to uncover someone that truly understands what they're discussing on the web. You actually know how to bring an issue to light and make it important. More and more people need to read this and understand this side of your story. It's surprising you aren't more popular because you definitely have the gift.
In fairness, however, I'm surprised too. Because I do have the gift.

Glen Sherman, a family law lawyer based in Vancouver, British Columbia has the Yellow Pages people shilling for him and they continue to spam my blog despite my warnings to dear Glen. (I know it's the Yellow Pages people because his website has the same recycled, low-brow design that the Yellow Pages has sold to a couple of dozen other British Columbia law firms.) To get to the point, a fake user named KatySewell12 tried to spam my post "How to Link to the Rules of Court and the Family Law Act" on Glen's behalf with this comment:
This was a very interesting blog and it was neat to read your ideas. I've been trying to study family law in Vancouver and I never realized how complex the subject matter is. 
Of course the post wasn't about family law and wouldn't have given her any idea of its complexity as a result. There is a certain humour in that the link to Glen's website was hidden in "family law in Vancouver", just after her mention of the need to study it; I hope that wasn't a subtle jab at Glen. 

An anonymous user, commenting on my post "The Revenge of Facebook, Part III," and pushing a website involving handgun targets of all things, writes:
What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness of precious know-how regarding unexpected emotions.
"Preserveness of precious know-how." I love it.

The craptastic people at the Yellow Pages are it again, this time spamming me on behalf of Valerie Little, a solo family law lawyer practicing in British Columbia's lower mainland, much like Glen Sherman. The fake user Seamus Lowe writes:
Thank you so much for this information. I've been looking into family law and all that it entails, because my best friend is having a hard time with his divorce from his really psychotic ex. I've been looking into different lawyers near him in Burnaby and would love some advice about one he's thinking of going with: [Valerie's website]. Any information is appreciated.
Two things. First, Valerie's offices are in New Westminster, not Burnaby... which you'd expect the Yellow Pages people to know, given how much they're charging her. Second, if you're trying to promote someone, as opposed to just getting their website hits, why would you ask for "advice" and "any information" about that person on a public forum? Yikes. Seems like a bad idea. 

My post "When Your Lawyer isn't a Lawyer" is attracting an odd amount of spam, likely because the spam artists are googling terms like "retaining lawyer" and aren't terribly fussy about the context; here are two exciting examples. Kristo, spamming on behalf of Stephen C. Maltezos, an ambulance chaser in Tampa, says:
It is very difficult to catch someone who is practicing law illegally unless you sit with them and take their interview very minutely. 
I have no idea what this means. The bogus Google+ user Alfred Jacobs, on behalf of Jeramy Jarman, an Oklahoma City lawyer who seems to split his time between petty criminal offences and family law matters, says:
If your lawyer does not respond, or subsequent meetings or conversations are not fruitful, consider suggesting mediation to work out your communication problems if you still want this lawyer to represent you. A bad deskside manner doesn't mean that the lawyer isn't an excellent lawyer.If your lawyer doesn't seem to be working on your case, sending a polite but firm letter laying out your concerns should get your lawyer's attention.
I cannot understand how anyone interesting in promoting a practice would want to be associated with this post, especially because the link to Jeramy's website was in the phrase "should get your lawyer's attention." Is that what Jeramy needs, "polite but firm letters laying out your concerns"? Does he have a lousy deskside manner? I suppose we'll have to leave this to his clients.

The new year has just dawned, and I am worried that I have already received the Best Spam for 2014. Swatantra Sharma, whose Google profile reveals competing interests in weight loss exercise programs, math tutoring, herbal remedies and rental properties in Dallas and Fort Worth, says this in reply to my post "All About Separation":
Popular Sex Holidays for Couples - Our Caribbean Escorts and European Stars will be ready to greet you upon arrival and make sure you are having the time of your life. Once you get settled in and ready to mingle you will head to the non-stop pool side bar where all the action happens - Popular Sex Holiday for Couples - Holiday Celebrations for Couples 
"Sex holidays?" I'm no prude but honestly I had no idea! The link Swatantra tried to post directed me to a website advertising "adult sex resorts" in the Dominican Republic, with deals including the "Fantasy Gateway" and the "Executive Package". I wonder if his or her choice of post was intentional. 

The voodoo temple / love spell people — see the spam from Doris above — continue their relentless spamming efforts, with the names of the famous "doctors" and their email addresses in heavy rotation. Every now and then, however, a gem emerges, such as this offering from Katherina Jim, submitted as a comment to my post "All About Separation:"
I have been in bondage ever since my ex leave for another woman, It was really hell for me and everybody told me to forget about him but i could not because i love him so much, Things get worse until my friend introduced me to this great spell caster Dr. [name] who have save so many life and relationships and i contacted him through his email [email address]  i explain everything to him and he cast a spell for me immediately after three days, everything turn around and my boyfriend come to me on his knee begging for forgiveness that i am the one and only woman in his life now. i was surprise i have never seen such a miracle in my life. I am so thankful to this man and i will forever publish his name Dr [name] contact him today on [email address]
Maybe if Katherina had read Fifty Shades of Grey she would have had a different attitude toward the bondage; in any event, she got it wrong. The bondage is supposed to come before he leaves.

An anonymous spammer, who forgot to include a link to the organization he or she spams on behalf of has left this delightfully illiterate comment on my post "CBA Releases Final Equal Justice Report:"
great publish, very informative. I ponder why the opposite specialists of
this sector don't understand this. You should continue your
writing. I am confident, you've a huge readers' base already!
Good stuff. The key words anonymous wanted to associate with his "web blog" are: divorce delay tactics nasty divorce tactics. Ick. Makes me wonder which law firm he or she was trying to promote.

An anonymous user shilling for Vermont Divorce Lawyers offers this comment on my post "Update to 1998 'Myths and Realities of Family Law' Report," saying:
Many thanks for sharing such wonderful details with us, i cherish it.
I merely wished to leave a comment in your guestbook and claim: Maintain the good
work!
My webpage - Expert for Divorce Law in Vermont
Maintain the good work! If I worked at Vermont Divorce Lawyers, I'd hang my head in shame. How do they think this illiteracy reflects on them? Honestly. "Expert for Divorce Law" maybe, but expert at the English language not.

Speaking of illiteracy, Alfred Jacobs has returned with more spam on behalf of The Law Offices of Jeramy Jarman, see above. In reply to a post of mine about the myths and realities of custody and access disputes, Alfred writes:
It is a very eye catching writing….I thought, to have a healthy relationship in the future requires recognizing what this type of relationship is. So, who were cheated on must identify what they want from future relationships and behave in a way that attracts this. It is perfectly acceptable for anyone, divorced or not, to be alone for some time before getting into a new relationship. Speaking with a divorce lawyer for a free consultation is one way many people begin to move on with their lives after being cheated on. As other laws, Jarmanlaw is a company which also provides free consultancy for those who want to move on in their lives.
What does Jeramy think this quasi-literate babbling says about him and his practice? I don't think it's "hire me."

The voodoo temple / love spell people continue their barrage of spam. I normally just scan and delete, but then there was Maria Cooker who has an unexpected interest in the Lord of the Rings. Wonderful! I also liked her enumeration of the powers of her spell caster.
This is my testimony about the good work of a man who helped me....My name is maria cooker ... My life is back!!! After 8 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our three kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. Thanks to a spell caster called papa ork who i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I was searching for a good spell caster that can solve my problems. I came across series of testimonies about this particular spell caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb, some testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. There was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called grace,she testified about how papa ork brought back her Ex lover in less than 72 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop papa ork e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give papa a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just 3 days, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. papa ork is really a talented and gifted man and i will not to stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man...If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great papa ork today, he might be the answer to your problem. Here's his contact: [email address] Thank you great ork. Contact him for the following: 
(1)If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3)You want to be promoted in your office.
(4)You want women/men to run after you.
(5)If you want a child.
(6)[You want to be rich.
(7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8)If you need financial assistance.
(9)Herbal care
10)Help bringing people out of prison
 
Contact him today on: [email address]
"Thank you great ork." I swear, you can't make this stuff up.

The same day as Maria's comment, I had one from an anonymous user pimping for an e-cigarette website couched in prose reminiscent simultaneously of James Joyce, Timothy Leary and Hunter S. Thompson:
Over the courswe of a few packets of cigarettes
this will equate to quite a large loss, especially if you don't smoke cigarettes particujlarly quickly.
Joe will get the main greaser but the rest will still set the truck on fire.
This is in fact good news as the wicked tornbado electronic cigarette is backwards compatible with [brand x] and
[brand y] Atomizers, Cartridges and even chargers.
I worry that I am missing some essential element of the subtext of "Joe will get the main greaser;" I fail to understand why this is good news.

The spell casters continue their bombardment of spam. Here's a delightful missive from Prophet Okijo. The good prophet is notable for having graduated from the "mental universe of Indian plant" and the availability of his services in places including "the Philistines," which I assume is somewhere in Pennsylvania, and his ability to help his customers "Join the new world Order:"
I'm PROPHET OKIJO from South Africa am 53 years old with 4 children graduated from the mental universe of Indian plant 1981st Was i bought my mental powers and particularism worries me is the mental powers, I help people to solve problems around the world to achieve their goals and dreams in the world, I have another temple, and they are located in India, Ghana, Israel, the Philistines , I am currently in Nigeria was my first temple is because, in case you want to reach me, it is my home address PROPHET OKIJO way Lugard str. cape town in south africa, or you want to contact me through my personal email [email address] Notice that if you have been searching for any kind of spiritual help, for example. Making quick money, promotion of employment, political forces, plant care, looking for children, supernatural powers and more (your destiny lies in your hand) to watch you at the welcome .....
1.Ritual (making quick money)?
2.Join the new world Order (ILLUMINATI)
3.You wish handsome boy or girl of your dreams you find him or her?
4.ex back (his beloved escaped from you)?
5.Herbal care?
6.need their money back?
7.looking For children?
8.spiritual problem?
9.political powers?
10.need protection?
Prophet Okijo reminds of one of those television pitchmen, like the Sham-Wow guy, just less coherent.

I have just received not one but two comments that are sure to place well in the spam awards, both from Katz & Associates, a law firm in Florida, spamming as sunrisefamilylawyer. In response to my post "All About Separation," this comment is submitted:
Along the Katz & Representatives all the lawyers always help their potential customers to make sure you struggle all the misdemeanor as well as felony charges. People symbolize men and women for during surrounding Louisiana towns for an extensive array of illegal situations, provided by proclaimed rip-off offenses to make sure you key as well as trivial offenses associating medications as well as alcohol. 
And to my post "How to Hire a Family Law Lawyer," we have this:
Divorce proceedings can be quite a great deal difficult. With Katz & Acquaintances, you will find yourself recognized utilizing a company regarding experienced counselors focused on helping out people today exactly with the help of home suitable issues. Typically the experienced [link behind the text "divorce lawyers in Sunrise" omitted] are fine might make suggestions on together with advise you regarding each individual solutions considered necessary at this critical moment.
Although I really like the surrealist quality of "people symbolize men and women for during surrounding Louisiana towns"  what I like best is the spammer's inability to remember "Katz & Associates" and willingness to shill for Katz & Acquaintances. (What an awesome name for a law firm! And what about Katz & Buddies? Katz & Special Friends?) I really cannot fathom how law firms could possibly believe that this sort of bizarre, illiterate babbling would not reflect poorly on them.

For some reason, the best spam seems to follow on the heels of the new year. 2015's early leader comes from the fake Google+ user Addison Conroy. Why do I suspect that Addison's account is fake?  He or she has four followers, one post and 459 profile views. Here's Addison's post:


Good lord.

In any event, here's is Addison's communique, on behalf of the Dallas law firm of Aaron A. Herbert, P.C., whose "attorneys bring extensive experience to parents across North Texas" and "maintain a strong commitment to the highest ethical standard of practice:"
I am about to tell you about child custody lawyers? The constantly changing fashionable take on child custody lawyers demonstrates the depth of the subject. While much has been written on its influence on contemporary living, child custody lawyers is featuring more and more in the ideals of the young and upwardly mobile. It is an unfortunate consequence of our civilizations history that child custody lawyers is rarely given rational consideration by socialists, whom I can say no more about due to legal restrictions. At the heart of the subject are a number of key factors. I plan to examine each of these factors in detail and asses their importance.
Addison has apparently reflected deeply on the plight of the modern child custody lawyer. Normally I would accept such sympathetic words with nothing but respect. However, here are some of Addison's other advertorial posts:
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In order to understand our selves, we must first understand Travel and Leisure and the best cities in America. The constantly changing fashionable take on Travel and Leisure and the best cities in America demonstrates the depth of the subject. Given that its influence pervades our society, Travel and Leisure and the best cities in America is featuring more and more in the ideals of the young and upwardly mobile.
Other deep subjects addressed by Addison include "Fifa 15 Download," "far cry 4 season," "MCPVP functions," "Lords of the Marsh" and "wizard 101 crown generator." My congratulations to Aaron A. Herbert, P.C. on his wise choice of promotional strategy. The obese BBWs, however, can call me instead. I'll help you with your too tight jeans...

In reply to my post "How to Tell the Kids You're Separating," Thesis Writing Service, shilling on behalf of Writeveristy ("Building Tomorrow's Career"), says:
Very value able post, I read the whole story when I start reading it.
Considering that Writeversity provides full or partial ghost writing services for dissertations, theses and research papers, they may wish to reconsider their spam contract. However, what I like best about Writeversity's website is its plagiarism policy!
"At [Writeversity] we take a very serious view of plagiarism, and offer it the kind of severe treatment it richly deserves. Passing off others' words and ideas is viewed as culpable, academic offense that warrants strong condemnation and retributive action, no matter how strong the allaying factors are. ... 
"Our strict policy in dealing with known instances of plagiarism translates into strict and inexorable enforcement of anti plagiarism laws that must be honored by our pool of writers in toto. Not only do our writers need adhere to non plagiarism in principle, but they must also be willing and competent to put these robust anti plagiarism laws into strict practice in each and every thesis, or dissertation presentation. There is no such concept as deliberate or accidental plagiarism indulged by our writers, since it is their moral duty and ethical responsibility to remove, amend or edit such segments of their works that may be within the ambit of suspected plagiarism. We 'reward' author- generated extensive plagiarism with suspension, fine and possible dismissal, depending upon facts, severity and nature of cases."
The irony is palpable.

We have another bellringer from the fake Google+ user Evodd Seo... "Seo," SEO, get it? Clever. Dear Evodd is shilling for the Ewusi Immigration Law Firm, a sole practitioner based somewhere in North Carolina, the District of Columbia and Delaware. Mr. Ewusi likely has no idea what he's hired, as Evodd's comment was to this page — the original appears in the comments section below — and he writes as follows:
Congratulation,for the post.This is a very costly present.I am so satisfied to get this post article.I was anticipating get such a post which is exceptionally useful to us.Keep it up.I know something information, to know you can click here [link]
A "costly present" which he was "anticipating" yet is "so satisfied to get." Thanks for the comment, Evodd! Rock on. I know something information too...

I don't want to get my hopes up, but the days of prophets and spell casters may be yielding to more traditional quackery, astrology. In reply to my post "All About Separation," Bhushan Sharma writes:
I want my love back in my life with the assist of astrology. There may be many causes of far away the love from my life but astrology is the best key solution to rectify the whole life. I want my husband back in my life because I cannot stay alone without him and unable to enjoy my whole life so I want my love back. I want my wife back, I want my bf back, I want my ex back can easily be got with the assist of several astrology techniques just making an appointment with expert astrologer Acharya Bhushan.
Interestingly, there is a prominent Indian astrology with almost the same name, Acharya Bhushan Kaushal, who has a pretty broad presence on the web, YouTube and Facebook:


Mr. Kaushal, whose awesome website tag line is "Bury your worry, visit, solve and be merry," is presently featuring an "exam special consulting offer" for only 500 rupees. Call now.

The spell casters have certainly not gone away, but I was intrigued by this surprisingly literate email from a fake Google+ user going by the handle Help Doctor. Here is what she — or, I suppose, he — has to say:
I remember lying in my room when I was in high school and writing in a journal to my future husband. I’d write all sorts of notes and questions and things I’d wonder or ask this man when I eventually met him. I would wonder where he was and what he was doing and if he was thinking about me too. It has always been such a strong desire in my heart to find a wonderful man to marry, someone who would love me and cherish me and appreciate me for the person I am. I always thought I would get married right out of college, just like my parents, so when that plan didn't work out, I started to get discouraged. A school mate snatched my future husband away from my arms just because she had spiritual powers, all hope was lost to me before i came across the help doctor [email address] who i confided in, i told him my long story and he helped me regain back my lover with his prayers which is now my husband today. if you have any problem email the help doctor [email address]
I suppose it's easier to tell yourself that a romantic interest was "snatched away" from you because of a competitor's "spiritual powers" than to wonder whether (a) something is wrong with you or (b) your interest wasn't all that interested in the first place.

A fake user with the remarkably terse username of anderson has spammed me on behalf a Dublin operation with the equally terse business name of Law Firms. Law Firms appears to have a thing going where a solicitor will give you a "quote" on your case based on your description of your case. What a spectacularly bad idea. Anyhow, anderson seems sadly to be functionally illiterate, a quality which I hope does not reflect on the solicitors Law Firms works with:
Your blog giving me professional and supportive solution for all type's of client. This is very effective blog for help me. Please post more related blogs. Thank you for this support.
At least anderson picked the right "your." Honestly, that's not bad.

27 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! Hilarious! I get all sorts in my blog as well. These dudes are wasting too much time commenting like that and it doesn't even work for SEO anymore. Anyway, I really liked this post so I bookmarking your blog now and calling my friends to read this too. LOL

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Thank you. You are genuinely sufficiency for me.

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    2. What you did there...I see it. And it was so funny that I'm not even going to plug in an obnoxious link about Surrey lawyers. Props, John-Paul...respect.

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    3. My name is Monica Johnson Sweden, My boyfriend left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 7 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over so one day as i was browsing searching on the internet for help I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depress for the past one month and what i need is to get him back and live with him happily. so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr.DAYO and explain my problems to him and he cast a love spell which i use to get my boyfriend back and now my life is complete and both of us are very happy with the relationship. and i am really grateful to this man for what he has done for me and my family, Thank you very much and i will continue to say my testimony over and over again. for those you need help or having same problem as me should contact him on his email address dayolovespell@gmail.com or call his mobile number+2348149158514

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  2. HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK!!! i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Prophet Ekpiku for bringing back my husband who left i and the kids for almost two months. i am very much grateful to Prophet Ekpiku. I pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to help more people having similar problem like mine. for help you can reach him on his email address:Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com

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    1. Hahaha the fun never ends

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  3. Unbelievable - I can't stop laughing! Very tempting to visit Prophet Okijo's office in the Philistines and learn how to be an Illuminatus...

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  16. Am Laura well, i never believe in love spell when i met a man called Dr Samura he gave me instruction of how his spell work still i never beleive him i was thinking it was a scam from Internet and that was when my husband was still with me but when he was gone for another woman, i decided to go the spell to bring him back to me that was when i get back to Dr lucas again and obey the instruction that was giving to me so my dear friends on this site, if you are in such pain do contact him via Email:DR lucasgreatsolutiontemple@hotmail.com.COM or call him +23408063066704 he just brought back my husband in 3 days after all the spell was been cast and i also want everyone here to contact him for any help he will do it for you without any further delay contact him today and be free from pain in your heart also and have a happy life with your family.
    Laura

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  17. Am just an over exerted today for what this great man call DR ADAGBA of adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com has just done in my marital life, after all the emotional pain that i have being passing through all this years have be turn to joy .and i will like you on this forum to help me in thanking he because for the past two years my husband has been cheating on me with a lady and this has course the family a lot of problems and our baby Evonne where the one perpetual taking the pain because at this time my husband don\'t normally come home to ask after the child or even care about what the child needed so with all this problems i was not happy in my marriage and i started going for different kind of marriage cancelling and looking for solution every where not until this faithful day when i was browsing on the internet i saw a testimony shared by miss Tessy Jerry Uk about this DR ADAGBA and i also contacted him for help and that was how he gave me some instructions and and i followed what ever he told me and i was surprise when he said to me go my child for all will be fine within the next 24 hours .and within the 24 hours i actually received a call from my husband who has not called me for some months now asking after the child and i . and that was how was the end of my marriage problems . so this is why i promise to testify to the whole world about this man DR ADAGBA and if any is also depress with such problems contact him now on:adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com and you will also find success and all your heart desire will be granted by
    DR ADAGBA, of : adagbaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com or http://adagbaspiritualtemple.webs.com/

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